Friday, December 14, 2012

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Mommy Truths 3: Expectations

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The expectations we have on ourselves is completely unrealistic. This generation of women was raised to believe that we should and could do it all, And that list of expectations is so huge that we think if we can't live up to that, then we're not good moms.  - Trisha Ashworth

This is true in so many ways. We expect to be able to do everything. We're moms, people see us as super heros. Our children look up to us more than the father. 


Why?


I'm not sure, maybe because we have these instincts, we have this bigger connection to our children than any one else in this world. We know our children inside and out, we know them like the back of our hand. And it comes to easily to us.


We want the fathers to help out and we try, we do, but its so hard when they are clueless and you just know. You butt in, you don't allow the father to really grow, to really connect the way you are connected. You try and try but its so hard sometimes to hear or see your baby acting out because of the way your partner is holding your child, or feeding, or bathing, or playing. You know that he/she doesn't like being held this way or that way, you have to hold the baby up this much. 


Sometimes its so much easier to just take the baby and do it yourself than try to tell or show. But we need to remember to try to do that, let them learn and get a closer connection.


However.


Its not just us that expects to much from us. Everyone else does too. The fathers expect us to get our selves ready and our child(ren) and be done by the time they are ready, or they don't help out and instead of being out the door in an hour if he would help, it takes two. We are super mom, super human, we don't need sleep, or time to ourselves. We are supposed to WANT to be with out child(ren) all the time, want to never be alone or have time to ourselves.


Then to make it worse you see there moms who look so put together, they bake and cook everyday, they do crafts and are always playing with their kids and we wonder how do they do it? 


My mother would say they are on drugs, no one can be THAT happy, THAT active and THAT put together and NOT be on drugs. But I think they are more balanced then other people, they know that if they wanna do X,Y, and Z they have to give up A, B and C. And it works for them, they are ok with that. 


A lot of moms feel they have to do EVERYTHING, but thats not the case. If you have realistic expectations then you realize that you can't do everything, your going to have to NOT do something, you'll forget that you were doing laundry and later that night while getting ready for bed you will remember, or you'll remember you forgot to unload the dishwasher, etc. It will happen. 


We need to stop expecting so much for ourselves.


We are good moms, we are great moms, just because we can't do everything doesn't mean we are crappy moms. We care, and love, and do all these things for the people we love most. 


Remember we are human.

2 comments:

  1. I really love this post! It's so true. We have a never ending to-do list. Just last night I had to make a "daily list" for myself to be able to fit in time for school, errands, bill paying, chores and spending time with the family. I also fit a little bit of "me-time" into it.

    Crazy Little Thinggs



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  2. As long as you have "me time" some days I feel like my only me-time is when my son is napping or in bed for the night. I can't even shower without having him banging on the bathroom door. Lol.

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